Learn Swiss German with a funny story

Here is a very amusing story in Swiss German. A woman has heard something at night. It was pitch black when she woke up. It was as though the wall would move. When she put on the light, she discovered a huge grasshopper on the wall. It really scared her. Of course her partner didn't notice anything, so she decided to wake him up and asked him to throw the beast out. He wasn't very enthusiastic about it. 

Ich ha hüt i de Nacht öppis ghört, wo mi gweckt het.

Do bi-n-i uufgschtande und es isch schtockdunkel gsi.
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Es isch mir vorchoo  als würd sich d Wand bewege.

Wo-n-i s Liecht aazündet ha, ha-n-i e grosse Höigümper a de Wand entdeckt, wo mit sine Flügle zirpet het.
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Dä het mir schön e Schreck iigjagt.

Mine Maa het vo allem nüt gmerkt.

Aber ich ha-ne gweckt und ne bittet, dass er de Höigümper fangt und ne use rüert.
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Er isch nid so begeischteret gsi.

Translation

I have heard something at night, which woke me up.
So I got up and it was pitch-black.
It was as though the wall would move.
When I put on the light, I discovered a massive grasshopper on the wall, who chirped with his wings.
This gave me a real scare.
My husband didn’t notice anything.
But I woke him up and asked him to catch the grasshopper and throw him out.
He wasn’t very enthusiastic about that.